So many fandoms and so many ships.
Feel free to say hello
when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me
Jumping in and joining #ItsStillBeautiful before the event ends 🔪
Hannibal and Will evade capture via Will’s seamanship skills and Hannibal’s medical expertise (and probably Swiss bank account), living on a small houseboat with several stray dogs. They assume new identities regularly to rejoin society for dinner parties.
Saw a commercial that said “without the letters A B and O there’d be no you”
It was about blood types
As someone versed in fanfic tagging, that’s not the first thing I thought of
This needs to go with the deli sign that asked, “how do you top your sub?”.
This is now officially a thread for things that make fanficcers stop and blink
Please add more
i don’t want to reblog this but i genuinely want to read more examples so
May I present:
This monstrosity
Every time I see the title of this TV show on the program guide I do a double-take
How about this classic?
me being generally bad at existing: why am i like this
me later reading about a disorder that i literally Have: aw fuck thats right i got symptoms syndrome
no offense but bucky not remembering what he does as the winter soldier makes his & sam’s rivalry so much funnier
sam: you know im STILL not over the time when you ripped out my car’s steering wheel!
bucky: the time i WHAT
sam increasingly realizes he can just say whatever tf he wants & bucky’ll be like
Sam: I can’t believe you stabbed Caesar
Bucky:
“I can’t believe you shot 2Pac”
This just keeps getting better and better
sam: it’s so fucked up how you assassinated JFK
bucky: this isn’t funny anymore, sam
steve: no… you actually did do that, buck.
bucky:
Sam: Damn, I mean, did you really have to kill Elvis and then make it look like drugs?
Bucky: haha I wouldn’t do that…right?
Sam:
Bucky:
Sam: You killed Jesus.
Bucky:
This gets better ever time
~plot twist~
sam: here’s the bill to my wings you plucked off my back like i was a damn butterfly
bucky: exCUSe me, WUT
sam: yeah you-
bucky: i remember doing that actually
sam:…
do you think truckers realize that theyre dentists of highways
explain
they both fuck twinks at gas stations
explain
I’m a simple woman, I hear the Pirates of the Caribbean music, I become gripped with the urge to don pirate garb and fight cursed skeletons upon the open sea
holy shit apparently during the filming of the 2002 spiderman movie james franco joked that tobey maguire had “frog-like features” which genuinely upset him and resulted in a rivalry between the two that still exists today i’m fucking screaming
i hope tobey maguire beats the fucking shit out of james franco with no repercussions
The frog in tom holland’s mouth is actually tobey maguire
when Lemony Snicket wrote “I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you everyday” that hurt me
“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written.
I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp… I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close… I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else–and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”
Lemony Snicket The Beatrice Letters
HEY I’M GONNA CRY
